The Money Conference
It is not uncommon to observe, in Grim’s Toy Shopppe, that bastion of family life, the Money Conference. Parent(s) and child are off in a corner. The facial features are serious, and, perhaps, intense. Old financial agreements; promissory notes; stipulations attached to promises a)of the past and,b) for the future; and track records in regards to the faithful paying out of such undertakings; are hashed out, rehashed, regurgitated, and revisited. There is often some revisionist history involved. It’s complicated. But what is at stake is of utmost importance: WHAT, IF ANY, LEGO SET or OTHER LESS DESIRABLE BUT MORE AFFORDABLE SET, WILL BE BOUGHT, TODAY?
What may not be known to some is that this all takes place within the earshot ( if only they had ears) of many LEGO minifigs, especially in the DC and Marvel Superheroes, and Minecraft sets. Those are the sections of Grim’s which are most desirable for private conversations.
Since there is not much else to do, members of these sets will occasionally play-act these dramas, for their own edification and enjoyment, after the store closes. The following is a reduction of many such productions, transcribed by Killmonger.
The Players:
Disco Robin..........Drew, a child.
Alfred Pennyworth in batsuit..........Ann, Drew’s sister.
Creeper..........Mrs. Bobbins,their Mom.
Silverfish#1..........The Annoying Nephew
Silverfish#2..........Octavius, Twin Brother of the Annoying Nephew
Zombie Pigman..........The Best, Most Generous Grandma in the World.
Outrider……………Grim’s Special Toy Associate Extraordinaire Person (G-STAEP )…………
Setting: A corner of Grim’s Toy Shopppe
Time: About 5:30 PM, EST.
Mrs. Bobbins:
Well, my dears, have you decided about what you want for Christmas? Since we are not buying anything today, we can take this opportunity to start our lists. After all, it is late April.
Ann and Drew( together):
The Big Millennium!
Mrs. Bobbins;
No way, Jose’! I would have to take out a second mortgage.
Ann:
We don’t know what that is.
Drew:
And we don’t mind if you do have to. After all, Necessity is the Mother of Invention.
Mrs. Bobbins:
Besides, your father already has a Millennium, and a second mortgage. He has promised in his will to leave the Millenium to one of you,and the second mortgage to the other one of you.
Drew[Snarling]:
Grrr.
Ann:
That’s a big no-can-do. Wills can be held up in probate for years.
Drew:
How do you know that you are the one getting the Big Millennium?
Ann:
I just do, is all.
Best, Most Generous Grandma in the world:
Drew, maybe you should call Burrito and Carne
Annoying Nephew:
(Singing)”Burrito and Carne, Burrito and Carne, When you need lawyers who have no charmie ! Call 555-5555.”
Mrs. Bobbins:
Let’s be reasonable, my little cherubs. Oh, dear, what happened to little Octavius? Weren’t any of you watching him?
Drew:
He’s heading out the door!
Ann:
Toward the dangerously deep mall fountain of poison death!
The Best, Most Generous Grandma in the world:
[Aghast] With a LEGO element No. 98100pb01 Cone 2x2 Truncated with Black and Red SW R5-D8 Pattern dangling precariously on his lower lip!
Ann:
Good vision, Best, Most Generous Grandma!
Drew:
(Checking pockets. They are empty)
Dang, how’s he get that?
Annoying Nephew:
Heh heh heh.
End Act I
The Money Conference
Act 2
Mrs. Bobbins:
Thank you, Ann and Drew, for saving young Octavius.
Octavius:
Goo. Sleeves are wet.
Mrs. Bobbins:
They will dry in good time, dear.
Drew:
Back to the matter at hand! On July 14, 2016, I mowed the lawn for 11 minutes, and never received any compensation.
Ann:
That was the time you broke the lawn mower.
Drew:
It broke, or I would have finished.
Ann:
I am willing to settle for a sale item.
Mrs. Bobbins:
There are sets that are on sale?
Drew:
She wants the Friends Hedgehog.
Ann:
No, I was referring to that dented box on the ledge. It’s a steal at ten per cent off.
Mrs. Bobbins:
That’s an awfully big box. What is an Imperial AT Hauler?
Ann:
It has two of Dryden’s guards that I really want!
Drew:
You and, ” Solo “ ! It’s further proof of the downward spiral of the Star Wars Saga since Disney took over. They even stole Dryden’s name from Escaflowne! ‘Was it a vision, or merely a dream?’
Annoying Cousin #1:
Ann sell on E-Bay
Ann:
No, I Was Not serious about selling it later on E- Bay! That was a joke, which you did not get, because you are only 4 years old.
Mrs. Bobbins:
Well, children, I am afraid we are out of time. Your father just texted me that he will be done in the Apple Store in five minutes. His screen repair cost $165, so there will definitely be no purchases, today. Which there weren’t going to be, anyway. This discussion is over. We will proceed out of the store, immediately.
Ann, Drew, Octavious:
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolooooo???!!?!?!
End Act 2
The Money Conference
Act 3
Setting: The Front of Grim’s Toy Shopppe
Time: 10 minutes later.
Please note the addition of a new character, Grim’s Special Toy Associate Extraordinaire Person (G-STAEP ), played by Outrider.
Mrs. Bobbins;
Drew, for the last time, let go of that shelving unit. It’s shaking, violently. I will not fall victim to your feeble efforts at extortion, or blackmail, or whatever it is. You can go home and build your LEGO walrus Polybag, again.
Drew:
I can’t hear you with my earbuds in.
Ann:
Hey, are those my headphones
[ Ann wrenches the headphone out of Drew’s ears.
Drew:
No, and what if they are?
Grim’s Special Toy Associate Extraordinaire Person:
Anything I can help you find?
Mrs. Bobbins:
A way to get out of this store!
The Best, Most Generous Grandma in the world:
Somewhere to sit down.
Ann:
The Heartlake Hospital Set
Octavius:
Potty. Need Potty. Potty! Potty! Potty!
All:
What? We’re out of here!
[ The entire family is literally pushed out of the store by Mrs. Bobbins. Best Grandma lingers behind.]
Mrs. Bobbins:
Mother, I will meet you in Van More.
The Best, Most Generous Grandma in the world:
Yes, Dear.
[Turning To G-STARP]
The Best, Most Generous Grandma in the world:
Would you be so kind to place a Las Vegas Architecture Set with those four sets I have had placed behind the counter. It’s for me.Yes, the Tree House and Stranger Things Sets are mine, for the older ones. The Duplo Train is for the twin. And, Poppy’s Pod for little Octavius. My, those sets do take up a lot of space back there, don’t they. Good. Now, I just need to pick out a few key chains. Are you offering any gifts with purchase, today?
Ende
and
Finale
Featuring:
LEGO Set 70922: The Joker Manor
LEGO Set 21139: The Nether Fight
LEGO Set 21155: The Creeper Mine
LEGO Set 21147: The Bedrock Adventures
LEGO Set 76123: Captain America: Outriders Attack
LEGO Set 76100: Royal Talon Fighter Attack
LEGO Set 75192: Millennium Falcon
LEGO Element 98100pb01Cone Truncated with Black and Red SW R5-D8 Pattern
LEGO Set 40171: Hedgehog Storage
LEGO Set 75219: Imperial AT-Hauler
LEGO Set 40276: Walrus
LEGO Set 41394: Heartlake City Hospital
LEGO Set 21047: Las Vegas
LEGO Set 21318: Tree House
LEGO Set 75810: Stranger Things
LEGO Set 10874: Steam Train
LEGO Set 41251: Poppy’s Pod