Serious A.Plume
Self-confidence, especially when in a demanding situation, is a highly sought after ability. Now, let’s not forget The LEGO Brand Values : Imagination, Creativity, Fun, Learning, Caring, and Quality. I would guess that this self-confidence under pressure thing is situated somewhere to the right of Creativity, but to the left of Quality. Unfortunately, our hero, Alan Aloysius Plume, was more than just a bit lacking in the self-confidence department. And yet, he managed, eventually, to be great. Which is nice work, if you can get it.
Alan was a whale of a guy. More specifically, he was the fourth build, with only online instructions, for a Creator 3-in-1 LEGO model. And, believe you me, being the fourth of a three in one can wreak havoc with one’s self-confidence.
As a LEGO whale, Alan’s main job was to pretend to splash swimmers and yachtsmen; to pretend to blow pretend plumes of water through his pretend blowhole; and, to pretend to swallow an occasional minifig. That last one was an homage to the story of Jonah being swallowed by a big fish or whale in the Biblical Old Testament story.
These tasks he performed haltingly. He didn’t like splashing. In fact, he didn’t like pretending. And he certainly didn’t like the taste of plastic. He confided to his little red shellfish sidekick that he felt himself incapable of playing the whale role as assigned by his owner and namer, Jeff Runagates.
“ If LEGO wanted me to be a whale, why didn’t tell put me on the cover of the box? “ asked Alan. “ and, hey, are instructions really that expensive to print ?” Alan’s little friend blinked, and turned itself from crab to a cute red fish. That always made Alan chuckle.
“ You know what I would like to be built into? “ continued Alan, “ I think that I belong in Serious Play. I want to help middle management bureaucrats discover their inner child. I want to help them to uncover the beauty of their forgotten dreams. “ The LRF ( Little Red Fish ) started to back away from Alan. It sensed a rant coming on. “ I want-“
Alan was interrupted by Jeff, who set about turning Alan back into a shark with bulging eyes and terrifying teeth. That was the Number One Build in his Creator 3-in-1 Set.
Being naturally scary is pretty great for one’s self-confidence. It puts you firmly in the Scary Column, which Alan only grudgingly accepted.
For one thing, as a shark, his name was no longer Alan. As a shark, his name was Earl the Girl ( this moniker was given again by the enterprising Jeff Runagates). When Alan became an Angular Fish ( the official Second Build), his name was Potatoes . This name was provided by Megan, Jeff’s four year old cousin. The Third Build, a Giant Squid, had yet to have been built. Jeff’s older brother George made the interesting suggestion of naming the squid -to - be, Architeuthidae, or, perhaps, Architeuthis Dux, it’s family and species name, respectively. At any rate, it was still pretty obvious to Alan that the Runagates Family didn’t need any whales.
Earl the Girl performed all of his tasks winningly. He had defeated the great Space Shuttle in shark to interstellar vehicle combat trials. He had trounced the Sunset Track Racer. Earl the Girl was especially triumphant over the Riverside Houseboat. He had devastated the brick built pelican and the crocodile from the Houseboat Set. He had eaten the tv, the revolving chair, and the workbench, as well as the life preserver. Many times, E the G had come close to consuming the two minifigs which came in that set. In short, Earl was always hungry, and never full. Earl the Girl liked the doughy taste of Acrylonitrile Butadiene Styrene, the plastic LEGO is made out of. And, he was especially full of self-confidence. In Jeff’s hands, he ruled with a plastic tooth. And, a plastic fin. His reflective eyes perused back and forth across his kingdom. Alan’s quiet spirit lay dormant, within.
Into this quiet, placid existence of multiple personalities came the Creator 3-in-1 Race Plane Set. As it turned out, with the humble race plane, in the hands of George Runagates, Earl the Girl had met his match.
As one of Jeff’s older brothers, George determined it to be his responsibility to bring Earl the Girls’s reign of terror to a close. The Race Plane became his chosen instrument.
George had originally bought the Race Plane Set to be a birthday present for the 6 year old brother of a girl whom he had feelings for. Upon further review, he had to come to the conclusion that such a gift might be presumptive. So, George decided to lick his wounds by building that set, himself. Invigorated by an energy drink pulsing through his veins, George began Operation Intervention.
In George’s hands, the Race Plane immediately devoted itself to anti-shark tactics. The Race Plane was particularly adept at picking up Earl the Girl right out of the water.
“ Hey, “ protested Jeff, “ he can’t do that! The Race Plane, and the Helicopter Second Build, and the Aerial Action Jet Third Build, don’t have a winch.
“ Race is using a special invisible shark picking up rope, “ corrected George. “Wonder Woman loaned it to him. “
“That did not come in the Wonder Woman Warrior Battle Set! “ reasoned Jeff.
“ It was in a knockoff of that set, “ stipulated George. That remark was not fair, because Jeff hated LEGO knockoff sets. He stomped off in a self imposed time out.
With no Jeff to hamper his efforts, Race easily deposited Earl the Hapless Shark very, very close to the sand table. George was not a mean spirited individual, so he did not put Earl IN the sand table.
Race Plane, as flown by George, was now invincible. It landed it’s fixed landing gear right on top of Earl. The Pilot then emitted a snide, high pitched laugh as he mowed the lawn on top of Earl.
The Race Plane then unceremoniously deposited our friendly neighborhood shark between the two boards of the LEGO What Am I ? Game, making a sort of shark sandwich. The minifigs behind the windshield canopies shivered with fear. But a brave penguin from that game threw a LEGO popsicle at the shark, which bounced off of his nose. Earl’s supremely high self confidence was now at an all time low.
With no Jeff to battle, George lost interest. He went off in search of a real popsicle, or, at least a freeze pop.
Jeff soon came back to survey the damage. He decided to employ the Old Switcheroo. As he deconstructed Earl the Girl, ideas began to curl inside his LEGO loving head. A Giant Squid could do some real damage to a Race Plane. But, For whatever reason, that was just not Jeff’s favorite Build. Potatoes the Angler Fish ...well, Not the right direction, for an insurrection.
Jeff chose Alan A. Plume! Using his tablet, he looked up Alan’s instructions. As he built, Jeff listened to his fathers old Songs of the Humpbacked Whale CD. It was very calming.
The melancholy music had just the opposite effect on Alan. Suddenly, he knew who he was : A Very Large Mammal, indeed !
As the Race Plane sped across the surface of the deep, Alan lunged forth and landed atop the winged beast, without the benefit of any fixed landing gear. The Race Plane submerged under the enormous girth. Race miraculously transformed into a sort of Hydro Action Sub. Down, down, down he dove, in search of The Portal of Atlantis Set ( which was in fact down in the basement, in several hunks of pieces).
Jeff was proud of Alan. He had acted with great aplomb. He presented Alan A.Plume with a LEGO plume-ers helper, to be his scepter. He made him a crown with beautiful LEGO red translucent feathers ( plumes ). Jeff made a tower of white LEGO ice cream cones to make a plume of smoke, coming out of a LEGO volcano he had all ready built. And, Jeff left him built as a whale for two whole months. For the first time, Alan knew the joy of building, and the pride of creation.