The Listening Station, Chapter 6: Golden Sighs, or, Let go, or Get Draggin’
Golden Sighs, or, Let Go or Get Dragggin’
Reredos hefted his mighty golden sais in the Dragon Defense Position. His kendo mask was making his forehead sweat, profusely.
Meanwhile, The Purple Frontier was also preparing itself for battle. It, too was forearmed and dangerous. And, sweaty. It’s Weapon of Choice ( W.O.C.) was Thanos’ buildable, double-sided battle ax from the LEGO Avengers Compound Battle Set. Thanos himself was also present, acting as the Earth Dragon’s man servant and personal valet. Peculiarly, he spoke with the accent of Jarvis. Also along for the ride, as Thanos/Jarvis’ personal assistant, was Dum-E from Iron Man’s Hall of Armor. He was assigned the task of deciding who was awarded each round, as well as entertaining the crowd between rounds with tea, jokes, and anecdotes. The ‘Crowd’ consisted of Vicky, Axes O. Rhee, and Kai and Dareth, who were able to loosely see through their semi-transparent sand green slope walls. It was kind of like watching a tv which had a picture with a lot of snow. That’s what used to happen with TV sets that used rooftop antennas for their reception.
Hack-A-Wall Strategy
Reredos abandoned the Dragon Defense position, and fell back on his old standby : Hack and slash.This strategy involved a lot of gangly motions and haphazard arm waving movements. It was his favorite attack mode, but usually met with very little success. It just tired him out real fast.
His maneuver was actually quite effective against a wall. The Great Wall of China’s just had so many spots to hit.
Meanwhile, The Purple Frontier was struggling with Thanos’ double sided battle ax. It took all four arms to heft it’s formidable weight. Yes, The Purple Frontier was one of those four-armed Lego beings-er, Walls.. The Long Wall was more accustomed to battling large space monsters. Reredos kept flailing his arms about, which was mystifying, as well as rather annoying. He was like a pesky bee, but he stung like a butterfly. Plus, Thanos kept sidling up to The Earth Dragon, giving unsolicited advice on the best way to wield his weapon. This proved to be distracting. “ No, no, no!” Thanos insisted, “Swing with more verve! More Verve!”
“That is not helping,” replied Old Long Wall. “Not Helping!”
Both combatants welcomed the bell which signaled the end of Round One. Dum-E awarded round one to The Earth Dragon. After all, the Earth Dragon was his boss. He entertained Vicky, Dareth, and Kai with a brief( if you want to call 15 minutes brief) summary of The Earth Dragon’s early, formative years: The Great Wall of China was born as a small 1x2 tan plate. Dragon Dance Guy Brick Headz happened along down the path, and, looked down, He found that small 1x2 tan Lego element. He wished that he had more pieces like that. The dragon on Dragon Dance Guy’s Head blew upon the Lego tan element. It sailed into the air, and, when it landed, a fountain swirled up from that spot. It was a fountain of tan LEGO elements. Dragon Dance Guy took them and started to build. He was a beginning builder, so he built those tan elements into a wall. The fountain of Legos grew, and the pieces spread faster than he could keep up. Dragon Dance Guy brought in his brothers and sisters, and they built more walls. Eventually, Dragon Dance Guy Brickheadz built a turret. The others started building turrets as well. It became a marvelous Earth Dragon, a spectacular Purple Frontier, a Long Wall which stretched between constellations, always consuming everything in its’s path. Dum-E ended his discourse with The Earth Dragon’s first word: Goo; or, perhaps, Goo-Gaa. At this point, the crowd was also going ga-ga. Vicky found her Belle’s Storybook Adventure Set Belle, who announced: “ Round 2 ! “
The two combatants slowly circled each other, seeking an advantage, or a weakness in the other. The Earth Dragon was much better at making circles around Reredos, and quite quickly our hero found himself surrounded by a slithering tan wall.
Then, into the fray entered an itinerant balloon salesman, from the Creator 3-in-1 Pirate Roller Coaster Set. His name was Pirate Balloon Salesmen # 1, also known as John Paul Jonesie. When he heard about the fight, he set out from Jamanaki Village. He was disappointed with the low turnout.
John Paul Jonesie set about hawking his wares. His Lego set included one red and one green balloon. Jonesie was near sighted, and had entered the ring quite by accident. This totally worked in favor of Reredos. You see, The Purple Frontier had never before seen a balloon, Lego or otherwise. He was enchanted. It was, literally, Love at first Sight.
“How much for the bunch?” The Great Wall asked the balloon salesman sheepishly.
“They’s $4.50 each, or 2 for $8.97.” Came John Paul Jonesie’s snappy and well-rehearsed reply.
The Purple Frontier borrowed $8.45 from Dum-E, and $.52 from Thanos.
“Here, hold this,” The Long Wall said to Reredos, handing him Thanos’ very large double sided battle ax. Reredos prepared to wield that mighty weapon, but failed. A quick assessment of the situation showed that he was now laying down, his hand gripping the gray handle, his unbendable mini-doll legs pointing straight up into the air. “ Huh, “ he said. It was more like the weapon had wielded him.
The Long Wall then swept the balloons away, and curled and slithered off into the big space hole which he had made into the side of Ninjago. He was searching for a diner where they could go to talk and get to know each other. Something strange had come over him: feelings which he had never known before. He really liked the red balloon, and was eager to find out more about it; important things, like what were it’s favorite foods, and favorite tv shows, and favorite podcasts. He permitted the green balloon to come along as a chaperone.
Dum-E looked at Thanos. With not a moment’s hesitation, they dived down into that Problematic Hole into Nothingness after their boss, who was also their meal ticket.
“Ninjago, the Peril has Ended.” Reredos solemnly announced. “Just, try to avoid that big hole that goes into eternal oblivion. For your own good, I mean.”
Vicky rushed over to congratulate Reredos. Unfortunately, they were divided by the Great Gulf Of Doom. “ Obviously, that means you. “ Reredos yelled over to Vicky, just to be on the safe side. Then he pulled off his helmet. It was covered with sweat from his Prince Charming hair, and it slipped out of his hand. It bounced and then rolled down the hole. “ Oops, “ he said. “ I can see that we’re going to have to do something about that, right away. “ That piece, Black Minifigure, Headgear Helmet Kendo with Gold Grille Mask and Green Trim Pattern, # 98130pb08, became the very first LEGO element ever in the history of Ninjago to be lost down a hole. But, not the last.
The only other Ninjagoian present was John Paul Jonesie, who was near-sighted. He was not paying attention, and treaded probably too close along the edge of the Carnivorous Crater, as he counted his change. Reredos took him by the shoulders, turned him 45 degrees, and pushed him off in the direction of Jamanaki Village. When Jonesie arrived there and told his fellow villagers that they were safe, the entire village gave off a communal sigh of relief and exultation at being delivered from another peril. ( Jamanakai Village was already 1) taken over by the Serpentine after the first battle of the Serpentine War; 2) the first place where Lloyd Garmadon appeared, and, along with Python, terrorized villagers; 3) bombed with dark matter from the Garmatron, turning them evil; and, 4) attacked by Chen’s forces at beginning of Second Serpentine War. So, who can blame them. That yell was so loud that it could be heard at the Monastery on top of the Mountain of Impossible Height, some many miles away.
Meanwhile, Kai and Dareth both noticed that the green slopes of their weird prison were taking on a pink tinge.
“Huh, “ said Dareth, “ I forgot that LEGO made those in bright pink. “
“ They appear in eight Lego sets, “ replied Kai, “ I am willing to bet those particular bright pink slopes, curved, 2x2, hailed from everyone’s favorite 1500 piece LEGO Classic Set, Bricks and Animals. “
“ But, they needed more than the four included in that set. I’m putting my money on the 12 bright pink slopes in the LEGO D.Va & Reinhardt Set. “
“ Then you’re going to need $ 39.99. “
“ Point taken. And, that would earn me 260 VIP Points.”
NEXT: Chapter 7! The Filler Episode.